I Want to be a More Shallow Person...On Facebook.

Over at ProfHacker, Ryan Cordell explains why he cut his Facebook friends in half:

I realize that, for many people, a Facebook friend differs substantially from a “real” friend. Indeed, I’ve heard my students use the term “Facebook friend” as a rough synonym for “acquaintance”: e.g. “She’s a friend of mine—well, she’s at least a Facebook friend.” Many people maintain a wide circle of acquaintance on Facebook, and tailor their use of the service accordingly. Many of my colleagues foster deep, ongoing professional relationships through Facebook, which is a wonderful use of the service.

I wasn’t doing that, however. I was using Facebook as a personal network, despite the fact that my network extended far beyond the personal. When I thought carefully about how I was using social networks, I realized—or, perhaps, I reasserted—two things:

1. I don’t have to friend everyone who asks. This might seem self-evident, but I realized that I was friending everyone who sent me a request, even if I barely knew them or wasn’t genuinely interested in (re)connecting with them. I was doing this, mostly, to avoid insulting anyone or appearing aloof. However, I would often end up hiding these people’s updates, which means I wasn’t actually networking with them. I decided to remove these faux friends, and to make real decisions about friend requests in the future. From now on, I will not feel compelled to friend someone because I took a class with them in high school. Some people use Facebook for class reunions, but I’m not interested in doing  
2. I can separate my personal and professional worlds. This one is, I will admit, a little tricky. I have colleagues whom I consider friends, and so those relationships bridge these two worlds. However, I realized that I use Twitter primarily for professional communication, and Facebook almost exclusively to post personal updates, including pictures and video of my family. Frankly, I can’t imagine that many of the people who were on my Facebook friends list would care about what I post there. What’s more, I realized that I was hesitant to post certain things—a lament, say, about a bad day at work—for fear of who might see it. I decided to remove purely professional contacts from my Facebook friends.

Ultimately, I cut my Facebook friends list by half. Doing so has slowed my Facebook news feed drastically—a change I’ve appreciated. If any of my distant acquaintances noticed the change—which, if they were ignoring my updates as I was theirs, is unlikely—they haven’t written any angry emails letting me know. Honestly, this change has allowed me to spend less time on Facebook; I go there to post pictures of my kids, or to post the occasional personal update. In my case the time saved probably isn’t too significant—I’ve never been a heavy Facebook user—but I’ve been surprised how much mental space this purging has created.

Cordell has put into words something I have been thinking about for some time.  How does one separate the professional and the personal on Facebook?  I am friends on Facebook with family members and friends who do not have much interest in the kind of musings we do here at The Way of Improvement Leads Home.   On the other hand, I am also friends with colleagues at work, fellow historians and academics, and readers of the blog and my books who may not care about family photos and other personal stuff.  (And, in some cases, I may not necessarily want them to see personal stuff).  Some of these people I have never met face-to-face. Of course a lot of my Facebook friends, if not most of them, either fall somewhere in between these two extremes or else find themselves in both groups.

I largely use Facebook for professional purposes.  As some of my current Facebook friends know, the posts from this blog go automatically to my Facebook wall (and yours!) and some of the best discussion of my blog posts appear on that wall. 

Frankly, I do not have a whole lot of interest in using my Facebook account for personal reasons and I rarely "update" my status with personal comments (i.e.  "I just love my new Chrysler minivan" or "Wow, I am feeling really tired today").

So I guess I am taking a different approach to Facebook than the one Cordell has chosen to take.  In the past several months I have scaled back the number of personal items I have on my page and have actually, for the first time ever, solicited new friends.  While I still hope that Facebook will allow me to connect with people, I definitely see it more as a way to connect with friends, my blog and book readers, the people I meet on speaking engagements, and other acquaintances in an informal, but professional (as opposed to deeply personal) way.  I guess I want to be more shallow on Facebook.

So feel free to be my friend!! Or don't be surprised if you get a friend request from me!

Now I am going to go mow the lawn and take the dog for a walk. :-)