hilarious things to say about it. (Thanks to Paul Matzko for calling this to my attention). Here it is:
I have accustomed myself to
accepting the fact that the Super Bowl pregame is going to be the kind
of militarized patriotic pageant that would have occurred had Leni
Riefenstahl immigrated to Manhattan and gone to work with Don Draper.
(By the way, did anyone check to make sure the Black Hawks that did the
flyby weren’t circling David Wildstein’s house by halftime?) But imagine
my surprise when Curt Menefee told me we were now going to have the
“traditional” Super Bowl Sunday reading of the Declaration of
Independence. When did that become a tradition? Did I miss a memo from
the Founders Beyond?
Anyway, what a letdown it was to see that they weren’t going to read
the whole thing. How does that fat bastard, George III, get off the
hook? Why not have, say, Rooney Mara talking about “plundering our
seas,” or Bob Costas intoning about “erecting a multitude of New
Offices,” or, god knows, Dan Snyder warning us about attacks on the
frontier by “merciless Indian savages”? I mean, if you’re going to do
it, read the whole thing. And that’s not even to mention that, had he
been alive when it was drafted, Adrian Peterson would not have been
considered a person, let alone an American.
I was further disappointed that it wasn’t a theme. We could have had Letters From a Farmer in Pennsylvania at halftime, and a postgame reading of the Notes on the State of Virginia. Founderpalooza! Why wasn’t Jon Meacham in the booth?