Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Slacktivist Takes Our "You Might Be an Evangelical..." Quiz

Some of you are familiar with Slacktivist, Fred Clark's progressive evangelical blog at Patheos.  The blog has a huge following.  It is not unusual for Clark to get hundreds of comments on a given post.  (Perhaps Fred can offer some tips about how to get more people to comment on the posts at The Way of Improvement Leads Home).

On Monday he took our "You Might Be An Evangelical If..." quiz.  Here are his answers:

1. Do you attend a church of over 2000 people?
These days, I usually attend a church of more than 2 million members, which is part of a communion of more than 80 million. But the actual congregation is only about 100 people. And the biggest congregation I’ve ever belonged to was only about 400. So this would be a “No.”
2. Have you studied at, or do you work at, a college that identified itself as a “Christian college?”
While the presence of folks like Tony Campolo and Peter Enns may cause some to reject its claim, my alma mater does, in fact, identify itself as a Christian college.
3.  Have you seen the rapture movie A Thief in the Night?  (I could have probably asked if they read the Left Behind series of novels by Jerry Jenkins and Tim LaHaye).
Yes. (And let’s just say yes.)
4. Have you been to any of the following Christian Bible conferences:  Word of Life, Camp of the Woods, Harvey Cedars, America’s Keswick, Sandy Cove, or Rumney Bible Conference?  [Fea's quiz was written for a northeast group]
I’ve heard Uncle Jack preach more times than I can count. Yes.
5. Did you vote for George Bush in 2000 or 2004?
No, and hell no. Kudos to Dr. Fea for A) including this question; and B) not making this the only question.
6. Have you been on a short-term mission trip?
Just one? High-school youth group lasts for four years.
7. Have you attended a Billy Graham or other evangelistic crusade?
Others, yes, many others — but I’ve only ever seen Billy on TV.
8. Have you read Josh McDowell’s Evidence That Demands a Verdict?
And also the sequel, More Evidence That Demands a Verdict. Sadly, such things can never be un-read.
9. Have you read something by C.S. Lewis?
I never got all the way through his collected letters, but except for that, I’ve read just about everything by C.S. Lewis.
10. Do you listen to Christian radio?
Not anymore, except for when I’m driving to DC or to Pittsburgh and I hit those otherwise dead spots south of Aberdeen or west of Harrisburg. But during the years I spent writing Christian music reviews I listened to a lot of Christian radio. Plus, I’vewritten for Christian radio, been interviewed on Christian radio, and I was a DJ for the Christian station back at my Christian college. So I’m claiming half-credit on this one.
11. Do you have a Thomas Kinkade painting in your house?
I have a Howard Finster painting, does that count? That does not count. If I lived in a charming little cottage alongside a quaint cobblestone path, the warm glow of soft, fuzzy light you’d see pouring from my cottage windows would be from a fire in which I was burning Thomas Kinkade paintings.
12. Have you read Rick Warren’s The Purpose Driven Life?
I have not. Just couldn’t get past the lack of a hyphen in that title.
13. Do you read or subscribe to Christianity Today?
So, then, my final score is 8.5 out of 13 — only 35 percent backslidden!
I’ll note that this makes me just slightly less evangelical than Dr. Fea himself, who scored a 9 on his own quiz. (I won’t speculate too much, but I’m guessing he doesn’t own any Kinkade prints either.)
That was fun. All that’s missing, I think, is one of those little charts classifying the meaning of one’s score. Perhaps something like this:
0-5: If you were to die tonight, do you know where you’d spend eternity? Becausewe do, and it ain’t pretty.
6-7: We’ve missed you at church the past few Sundays. We’re praying for you.
8-9: You’re an evangelical, sort of … but we’re watching you.
10-12: Hiddley-ho, neighbor, and Praise the Lord!
13: It’s an honor to meet you, Rev. Graham. And on behalf of all of us, we’d just like to thank you for your long, faithful …