Saturday, January 24, 2015

The Patriots Would Have Won the Game Anyway

Joe Queenan has a very funny piece at The Wall Street Journal for Patriot fans making this argument in response to "Deflategate."  Here is a taste:

When my son was 8, I started cheating whenever we played Stratego. I bought a second copy of the game and surreptitiously substituted a lot of powerful field marshals and bombs for useless scouts and miners. This massively increased my odds of winning. I beat him 867 consecutive times. But I didn’t feel guilty about it, because I was going to win anyway. It was cheating, yes, but it was harmless cheating. It was Olde New England-style cheating.

That wasn’t the only time I cheated when I didn’t have to.

When I used to play ping-pong with my daughter, I would holler, “Hey! Look at that flying brontosaurus!” and then insert cast iron into her paddle so that she couldn’t lift it off the floor. I didn’t think there was anything wrong with this because I was going to wipe the floor with her anyway—she was only 4 at the time—and she was recovering from chickenpox. So playing the game was a mere formality.

Read the entire piece here.  HT: Jim LaGrand